I see the funny side of life a lot. Things that others may not find funny strike a chord in me and I chuckle.
This tumor thing. It does not strike my 12 year old funny at all. No aspect of it feels funny to him. It could be that the black and white of what is funny is just extremely clear to him and none of the parts of his mom having a tumor in her head seem funny in the least. Still, I see the funny. And yet, I also see it through his eyes. This is not a time to be irreverent about his feelings. No, his feelings matter every bit as mine do. So, within the funny moments, where life is ridiculous ( like the bandage on my head that looks like pad being worn in the wrong place…), I also see that it is not ridiculous at all in one of my dear ones’ eyes. Perhaps that is why this particular blog has been silent. To mock that which is incredibly serious, even life and death, seems, well, it seems a little irreverent to him. And he matters. Will this prevent me from writing the silly? The outrageous? No. It simply will be a filter from which I look at life. It’s good to see things through anothers’ eyes and understand that they see it differently. My son is special with a capital S. He is extraordinary in his insights. I respect that. So in the last few weeks as we traversed the halls of the life and death of this thing called a brain tumor, I have seen it from his perspective a little more and mocked myself a little less. He’ll come around at some point. He has mischeif waiting to say something about how funky I smell, I’m sure of it.