You have a COOL mom!

Alberta Highway 16

Alberta Highway 16 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My son’s face fell when he heard the news that The Reverend was not able to drive he and his two friends to an event that night. I looked at him and said “You don’t think I’m cool?”  My son finds it hard to hide the truth. “Um, uh, well, oh, um….” He tried.

It was official, my eleven year old didn’t think I was cool.

“So, what you are saying is that your Dad is cooler than me?”

“Well….” Avoiding eye contact completely.

I asked for it really.

We were on our way back home when they started talking about barf. I have a fairly awesome sense of humour but there is only so much barf talk one mom can take. I told them “If you say the word barf one more time, I am going to stop and make you run around the van ten times!” They took this as some sort of personal challenge.

**Whisper, whisper…even more hushed whispers, giggle, giggle**

I stared at them in the rear-view mirror. I knew they were up to no good.

More whispers “blah, blah, blah…barf.” I heard it plainly. It’s like they wanted me to pull over.

I did. Safely…I promise!

Two of them were definitely involved so I said “Get out and do your laps!”

They tried to look shocked. I’ll give them that. More peals of laughter and two 11-year-old boys started running around the van. I eyeballed the third, who looked completely innocent. I am nobody’s fool though.

The third “innocent” friend laughed and counted. As the two started climbing back in the van their friend piped up “That was only eight laps!” The two backed out of the door and finished up an extra two laps. Suckers!

I am certain I heard them whisper to my son “You have such a cool mom!”

A look of horror, or was it admiration, passed across my son’s face as I put the van in Drive.

I hoped their parents thought I was cool too because I could have been in big doo doo.

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Someone, OPEN THE WINDOW!!

Glowing Bowling Alley

Glowing Bowling Alley (Photo credit: atmtx)

Last night, I went along with the Youth Group. We haven’t had one at our church for a few years because of population issues, meaning, there are only so many that go to our church. We are officially starting it up again and last night’s activity was a short road trip to join another youth group for Glow Bowling. The Disco ball and fluorescent colors of the girls clothing took me back a few decades. They didn’t even have electric score keepers so it was old school big time!

We were lucky enough to get the boys for the forty minute trip. Woo hoo!  I love pubescent boys. That may sound weird, but I mean it in the most hilarious sense. They make absolutely no sense at all! None. Even their fart talk goes off on some sort of rabbit trail that leaves adults (except the men) wondering “Huh?” Everyone was getting along and giggling like school girls, so it was all good. I am immune to fart talk and it doesn’t even phase me until they start trying to give real examples. That’s where I draw the line in a small vehicle. A Grand Caravan is not big enough for those kind of competitions. Good news, they are still afraid of me because they are just getting taller than me but not quite far ahead of my height to know whether they could take me down. When I said “Change the topic!” they actually did.

I heard one of them say about one of the girls “I think she likes me. She was looking at me. Pretty sure she has a crush on me.” It could be that the look the pretty gal had given him was akin to “What kind of alien is he?” and “How do I not get in the same vehicle for this trip?” but then again, I could be wrong. I was an adolescent girl once. I do know how their minds work with all the drama, crying and manipulation. I get them. They are weird in their adolescence too but I get it. I am  certain her excited and hyper fluttering about was not flirting with him. She is just an excitable person. I did not burst his bubble as I listened to the other boys speculate. They didn’t seem to know what a girl looks like when they have a crush on someone so they were no use. “She acts kind of flirty around me.” He continued. Before getting into van, a few minutes before,  he had pretended to be invisible. The logic would go that if he was trying to be invisible then how would he know it was him she was flirting with? I’m not completely sure why he was trying to be invisible before getting in the van…??

I can tell you this with absolute certainty. Boys talk more than girls. I have been around boys quite often in my lifetime and almost every one of them can talk the hind end off a deaf donkey. I am pretty sure that when men get married, there is a grand conspiracy among them to make us women think that they can’t talk. Ha! I know it ain’t true, Y’all! Even the “professionals” and all the stats say men talk less than women. I have found the answer…They don’t seem to be able to talk much because they talk it all out before they turn twenty!  It’s true!  Boys talk so much when they are young/pubescent/trying to impress girls that they simply run out of their allotted amount of words when they get married.

All that to say, it was a fun evening. Being in the van with the boys took me back to my earlier days in Youth work and it was a fun flashback. Even the Reverend acted a lot like a pubescent boy last night. Middle-aged boys…maybe they never truly grow out of it. Good thing us girls grow up and don’t have any more fun.

Ha.