Summer Vacation story…and I’m sticking to it

Official logo of Winnipeg

Official logo of Winnipeg (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Being in spiritual leadership is extremely taxing in both the spiritual aspect, the social aspect and just feeling the weight of the expectations on you. Every year we try to see family and fit some relaxation time in there with the four kids. Relaxing with four young kids could be considered an oxymoron. Perhaps there are those who think that The Reverend and his very Holy Family *sarcasm* should just go into seclusion and read their Bibles.  Then there are the times we end up in a big city with a lot of mesmerizing lights, go over to a random Italian home and enjoy an authentic Italian meal, drink homemade wine and end up in their basement singing songs from the ’50’s.  My sister is dating a nice guy who is from Italy and maybe they’ve invited us in to “The Family” *say that with a raspy male voice it makes it sound more impressive*It was hard to tell because they showed me the cellar and that worried me a little. I’m kidding. It was favaloso!

Today we had an odd thing happen. We went all the way to the beach and had NO ONE wanting to go swimming. Oh sure, the teenagers went in to dip their toes and the kids wandered around aimlessly but really all we could do was sit there and eat snacks. Sure, not every adventure has to be actually adventurous but it would help if MY kids acted themselves and spend the time in the water…that would have been normal. Some of them just hung around looking out of sorts. Halfway home “Mom, I’m going to barf.” and barf he did. I should have known b/c our older daughter was complaining of a very sore head so she was kind of out of sorts. But mommy says “We are ALL going to have a fun time at the beach because it’s holidays…RIGHT?” Ah so momma’s not always right. We tried though. It was early to bed for barf boy and headache Queen. Then the Queen of Scream showed up and made me rap her a lullaby. Well, I rapped and she screamed. So over tired was she that she did not appreciate my lyrical artistry.

I ran, jogged with my brother around Winnipeg yesterday. Right off my bladder seemed full. Yah. No bathrooms. So my game was a little off with that little middle-aged crisis. Ok, me with my short (and I do mean SHORT) legs can never keep up to a brother like mine so as I moved my legs at lightening speed he sauntered along…and did a very good job of looking like he was getting a good jog in. He’s nice like that. Even though I felt intimidated to run with a long-legged guy like him he jogged easily beside me. Twenty-two minutes of jogging and a day later and he must have been deceptively working me harder than I thought. My thighs are screaming and my calves are begging for jog day not to be tomorrow. But I will. I will let him work harder than me and my short legs will let on. I can be stealthy like that. YA right…

All in all my holiday has entertained and relaxed, kind of. I have more stories but have to ok them with my family yet.

I love being with my fam jam. They are kooky like me only maybe more so. I should go to bed now though. Insomnia does not cure travel weary stress brain.




The Tan Alternative

What happens when you are very enthusiastic about the long-awaited, long saved-for vacation of a lifetime? You share everything awesome about what happened during your dream vacation, celebrating your 20th, with all your loved ones who were stuck in the March of H8ll? They all have to act happy for you but the occasional outburst from someone who’s had enough of the hyper happy talk of sunshine and beaches runs out of the room crying, right on our happy parade. I get it. I do. Every single year I was the middle-aged mom of four looking at everyone else going on my dream vacations and I steamed in jealousy and filled with determination as I tortured myself with photos from other people’s vacations.

To make all of you, who are dealing with the winter storm of the season this week, feel so much better about it (ducking now for snowballs headed my way) I would like to talk about my legs. Whew, that kills the happy mood right off, doesn’t it? That is a beacon of hope for those who mire in the clay of despair that they didn’t get to go on a vacay. My legs have never inspired hope, I don’t think.

My legs got fried and I mean crispie fried. The night that I got the burn from direct equatorial sunlight meeting lily-white unprotected legs, we could have bbq’d on those babies. Whoa! Legs on fire! I took the ice bucket, that was there to keep the champagne cold (an anniversary gift from the staff), and dunked a big towel in the frigid water and brought it up to wring out the extra cold, arctic water…except it wasn’t arctic water, it was Jamaican water with ice. Same thing! I put those almost frozen cloths on my legs and the steam that arose from the contact? well you could almost hear it sizzle. I told my husband that I was so hot  (with a dramatic groan) and he only agreed with a smirk on his face.

Sandals Whitehouse, Jamaica

Sandals Whitehouse, Jamaica

Look closely and you can see the burn…I still had a good time.

I hate being cold and putting any sort of ice on my body so you know it was a good burn that reminded me that I had let myself walk around unprotected. How silly, after so many friends/family/Facebook strangers telling me to apply sunblock, apply again, rinse, repeat. Going from Canada and  completely covering our gleamingly white winter bodies, to uncovering them and letting the equatorial sun ball of death shine on our pasty selves, well, it was stupid. I only forgot it for one morning That was all it took. Now the payback is in the insane itch of the healing. I didn’t notice it so much when we were “there” but now with the dry prairie air sucking any moisture that was left in the air my skin is all about the itchy.

And I suppose you are all allowed to laugh at my holiday drama because this was the ONLY  non-favorite shenanigan  in our whole trip. The trip had fantastic written all over it.

And the itching is driving me wild.

Instead of the awesome tan to remind myself of a great time had, I have crazy itching to remind me. I scratch and say, “Wow what a great time we had” and “Pass me the lotion to MAKE IT STOP!”

PS. No one has actually run out of a room crying, unless you count my daughter, who did actually run out of the room crying. She was determined to pack herself in our suitcase and escape the snow. But we dropped her off at dance and left with her safely NOT in our duffle bags.

The Reverend’s Smokin’ Hot 2nd honeymoon

Our 2nd honeymoon was going swimmingly. Until I burnt my legs to a crisp. But then my sweet Rev. went and looked after me instead of getting upset with me (for not putting on sunblock for the morning hours like I should have) and I figure that we’ve come a long ways, since that first awkward honeymoon.

We have been comfy enough to let each do his/her own thing when we want and then hold hands and do some other cool stuff when we wanted to. We are clearly communicating what we need/want and that is a lot easier here than at home with four more voices to be heard. It’s been very special.

No funny story tonight unless you call the heat that is going on here is just my legs burning up the place and not the romance brewing.


Just a hit of a burn on that face. I won’t show you the nasty on my legs.

We are smokin’ HOT!

Hey Mon!

Beach shoes

Beach shoes (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Beautiful water, white sandy beaches, gourmet food….

You guessed it! We are not talking about my house here. We are going to the TROPICS! Just in time too. Apparently the weather is about to take a turn for the cold again **snicker** and I am not going to be here this time. At least, I better not! Then again, if the forecast is correct, it may still be snowing when we get back. Oh well, at least I will have a tan. **snicker**

I’m not laughing at you, don’t worry. I’m just so darn excited that I can’t help snickering that we’ll miss a week of winter. Out of six months of the “season”, which started this year in Oct. and will likely last until April, a week seems paltry. But to this Reverend’s Wife, that is a life time in coming! Never have been a-travelling since the ring went on the finger (except a quick trip to Disneyland eighteen long years ago)

Of course, we’re leaving the critters at home with the grandparents. I’m sure they will have  an adventure or two of their own to tell when we get back. We, on the other hand, will not have our children to create the “adventures” for us. What will we do? It will seem so boring…not. Oh, and we’ve had a few “adventurous” kind of vacations (mind you, never to the tropics or anywhere else…just in our Canadian Prairies).

Travelling across the prairies is NEVER a good idea in the dead of winter with toddlers who have ear infections even in the summer with a child who has major motion sickness, and yet we do it every year. Family beckons and we load all of us and our cheap junk in the van and go.  One year we even went to the mountains and winded our way through with barely a need for a “plastic bag”. That was a great time. But we do have hair-raising vacation stories to tell, that are too graphic than I should tell, if there are sensitive stomachs in the crowd.

I sure hope that the roads aren’t as windy or the drivers as nutty as we’ve been told they are in Jamaica, or I may have a story to tell about myself. I’m taking precautions, don’t you worry.

This Irreverent Reverend’s Wife is signing off for now. See you on the other side of the sunshine! I’m sure, the way my life goes, there ought to be some good laughs at my expense in a foreign country.