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The Reverend’s Wife has a magical purse

Spring Green Purse

Spring Green Purse (Photo credit: Jilted Ballerina)

The Magical Purse shall be named Eunice. My purse collection has been through so many transitions throughout the years. In the beginning it was called “Diaper Bag of Huge Proportions”. After all, with four kids arriving in five years, a large carrying case was just the thing to tote when we were out and about. It carried all the tricks we needed.  If one looked one could find almost anything except a Kleenex. I didn’t believe in Kleenex’s…or maybe I always forgot to put some in those magic pockets? Regardless, there was always another mom with a bag of tricks to beg for tissues from.

The Diaper Bag of Huge Proportions went from ginormous to fantastically and fashionably small when I picked a new bag, after all my children were toilet trained and weaned from the infernal sippy cup. I was almost giddy with excitement as I picked out Eunice. She seemed weightless in comparison to the cumbersome tote. I still needed tricks, but a smaller handbag meant less tricks.

Sadly, I discovered that my Eunice just wouldn’t hold enough tricks for the crowd. In church one day I was giving a certain child the “evil eye” when I remembered since-forgotten bigger bag of magic. I recalled the snacks that kept them quiet. The little cup of Cheerios would go a long way to keep them occupied even still! The only snack I may have in my purse, at the moment, is a stale gumball from last year’s Harvest Carnival. I guess I could brush the hairs and lint off next time they ask. A soother would quiet them for a time back in the day, but now? I don’t even have a stick of gum to adhere their teeth together. I need lip balm and hand cream in there somewhere for the dry skin that will surely arrive at any moment. then there are the medications (see largest purse you can imagine) that keep my head from spinning off it’s holder, called a neck. A first aide kit seems like an essential with all the falling off chairs, skidding out on skate boards and hang nail crisis.

In the middle of the freakishly unpredictable winter it will not do to have a small Magic Purse, poor Eunice! There are reasons I need a bigger bag and regretfully I will indeed need to purchase a bigger tote that will carry all that I need. I thought my kids had outgrown the need for a Mother’s Magic Bag of tricks but alas they have not. Good-bye fashion-friendly handbag, hello more frequent visits to the chiropractor.

I need room for my magic wallet, which according to the kids, contains enchanted money. I tell them it’s a credit card and there is nothing magic about it. I consider the coupons stuffed in the pockets more enchanting than those silly store points cards, yet I somehow I keep using them…they earn me points and points means money, right? Mommy needs a little magic now and again!

It seems that there is always a reason to have a bigger purse and I have found several. When my kids are getting antsy in church, I will (when I get this bigger bag) pull out the bubble timer that has mesmerizing bubbles but It also works as a timer. “How much longer is daddy going to preach???” I could say ” Let’s count how many times you have to turn the timer before he ends.” It would be brilliant, at the very least, to have a pad of paper and a pen so they can write sermon notes (uh huh!) or doodle the latest hair the Reverend is sporting. A stress ball would be handy to have just in case a brother is dancing on the last nerve of a certain sister. Just squeeze the ball instead of punching, sweetie.

A purse like that could save me a lot if trouble!

Poor Eunice. She was a nice purse. I was too hasty when I kissed that diaper bag away…I should have kept it and saved the Reverend a few dollars. I will miss you, Sweet Eunice but I may pull you out again. It’s not good-bye forever. It’s just farewell until the kids are grown and I can find you in that dusty dark corner I will put you in. Perhaps that dusty gumball will have some use again.

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