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Refills please

For those that do not know this important fact already, I am closing in on 43 years. Oh yes, I know you thought I was younger. They all do. Until they see a picture of me.

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If my age just alienated half of you then just forget I said anything. If you forget it though, you will wonder at the story to follow.

Today I had an appointment to see my Doctor. I’m getting on in years and these things happen now and again. My meds were about to run out. I can’t have that happening or things could get nasty and quick! Turns out a refill appointment was conveniently scheduled right during the flu of the season. I latched onto the examination table with both hands and hauled myself up. Laying down I tried not to cough into his face while he was listening to my heart. After many personal, and somewhat confusing questions, I absently crawled off the table and went out the door. Something in my brain nagged at me that something was amiss. I looked around knowing I was forgetting something. Oh right, the LONG list of meds that he was refilling/prescribing. It was an impressive list, really. I will never judge another person, with more medications than teeth in their heads, again.

Embarrassed, I asked him to reach for it and made a lame excuse about the fever frying my brain and if they had a cure for that. He said “No.” Funny guy!

I took my substantial stack of paper to my regular pharmacy and waited while they filled the needed items. The Doctor had prescribed a “broad spectrum” antibiotic. Apparently, he thought the shotgun approach to whatever was ailing me was a sound way to go. I’ll just be happy to kiss the mucus good-bye. Well, kiss is a strong word.

As I went to the line to pick up my meds, the pharmacist who knows me as a regular customer, made a quick beeline for me. He asked if I had ever used this medication before etc. etc… because it was usually used for pregnant women. I waved him off as doubt entered my mind for the second time. The Physician had asked a similar question. You see, I asked the Doctor to fill a prescription that a different Specialist has usually taken care of.

I am not the most detail oriented person ever. I had thought that the medicine started with a D and I knew of an anti-nauseant that started with a D so that’s what I went with…my memory. First mistake. When I looked over my prescription bottles last night I should have just put them in my purse and showed the doctor instead of relying on my memory. I know better than that! The good Doctor went with my memory, as puzzled as it made him, and signed off on it.

The pharmacist was not as easy to shake though. He looked at me like “Hey, old lady, are you pregnant?” but instead said “The medication is usually prescribed for pregnant women. Pregnant women take it for a reason.” Well, I know that. Migraines can make a girl barf too! He insisted that “It’s really meant for pregnant women….???”

“WHAT? Whoa!! I am not pregnant!” Then I almost burst into a fit of giggles. Imagine!

Oh….he thought I was pregnant and that would lead to a whole other discussion about what the dickens was I going to do about all those other meds? I asked him to look at my file. Sure enough, the medication did not even come close to starting with a D. Seriously, people, my brain is FRIED like chicken at a buffet.

A few embarrassed snickers later, we determined that he would fax my Dr. and get it straightened out. At least I didn’t have to be the one to look stupid again. Oh wait, I would be the one looking stupid but I didn’t have to humiliate myself in front of a medical professional again today.

Pregnant…oh, my. Now that would startle the Reverend something fierce!

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2 thoughts on “Refills please

  1. Oh. My. Goodness! You totally cracked me up this morning! Glad I wasn’t drinking my coffee or it would have come out my nose! Your descriptions are hilarious and I love your ability to laugh at yourself… and for the record, you don’t look a day over 39 😉

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