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The (Almost) Empty Nest


Lettuce (Photo credit: photofarmer)

The Reverend left me.

My kids ran away.

My friends are all gone…

That is not just some sappy country song gone wrong!  It is my life tonight. Before you get all shocked and bothered and spread the word around the small town that the Reverend’s family has done gone and falled apart…

The Reverend left on a day trip to go and visit some church people way down south. He’s coming back, don’t you worry!

Three of my kids went off to camp, leaving my middle daughter to wonder what to do with her somewhat lame mom for the one night where everyone else is gone. We ended up eating pizza, watching a chick flick, painting nails, eating chocolate and beef jerky…typical girl’s stuff that got me labelled “cool mom” for the night.

My friends seem to have all gone on holidays or aren’t answering their phones… The latter is not a good sign.

Truth be told, I am not that lonely or bored. If I were to be completely honest, like any good Reverend’s Wife, then I would have to say that I am CHILLED OUT and loving life just a tad. I admit, I was a little nervous about sending my oldest to camp. Being on the Autism Spectrum, I know just how anxious new situations can make him. And yet, I knew that the right thing to do was to drop him off with a bunch of strangers in a place he’s never been before for five days. I know, I am such a good mom! To keep myself from calling the camp 1000 times, like I want to do, I have been consciously blocking thoughts of what I know he is going through. I did warn the counsellor (named Spike) that my son was known to make strange noises and inappropriate comments, especially when he is nervous or excited. I didn’t tell them that red dye (or any artificial dye) is wicked bad for him…it would be pointless because pretty much everything that is made in mass production has some sort of artificial dye and he would go straight for it because I tell him that he shouldn’t. He would need someone watching him all. the. time. On the first night there, while I was still with him, he had 4 cups of electric blue juice. I am not sure how that all went for everyone. I told him to go for it because I wasn’t putting him to bed that night.

Then there was my littlest tykes. They aren’t so little anymore, but at ages six and seven, I didn’t know if sending them to camp would look like we were being ultra-spiritual with the kids by sending them so young or that I just wanted to have a couple of days without items being stolen from my purse and placed under pillows. Whatever my reasons actually were, my two youngest couldn’t get rid of me fast enough, once they got into their cabins. My daughter waved me out with both hands, shooing me with a “Good-BYE MOM!”  She emphasized her impatience with me with a blunt “Ahhgghha” and a hands-on-hips move. As I left my son’s cabin, he glanced my way as I said “Don’t I get a hug???” He sighed as he clambered down the ladder and gave me a quick sideways hug before climbing back up. “Yah-bye-mom”

Ok, I guess that nixes getting all emotional.

So here I sit, regretting the pizza I ate (supposed to be off of wheat, dairy and tomatoes for health reasons…I love pizza) and wondering which show I should watch. My back aches and I have lettuce to wash, a lot of lettuce. I am going to ignore some of the lettuce.

I’m glad it won’t last long, but I kind of like this (almost) empty nest.


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