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Midlife Crisis


Harley-Davidson (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It was either take up jogging or buy a Harley so I went with the Harley…I figure if the rest of the Western World can have a midlife crisis, why can’t I? Just kidding!  I took up jogging…because, while it’s just as dangerous, it’s less expensive….and healthier! I’m all about healthy. *snort*

Today I asked my son to come with me to cheer me on. I told him it would be better than last week. Last week he accompanied me on my 2nd jog ever (since high school) it was more huffing and walking than anything that resembled a jog. Being the encouragement and truthful guy that he usually is, he told me that I was pretty slow and when would we get to the jogging? Thanks, son. You are a terrific cheerleader. If he had hadn’t been bored to tears this afternoon, with nothing more entertaining than watching his middle-aged mother jog, he would have gladly done almost anything else, I’m sure. Except Math.

I started out strong. In fact, I think I was almost motivated by his jogging to pick up my pace a little. During the first interval, he danced around the side of the road ahead of me, almost mocking my slow pace. I smiled and told myself it was a great idea to bring him with me. The second interval I was breathing a little harder and he bolted ahead of me. I was glad that he came along so he could get some exercise and I turned up the volume on the iPod I was borrowing from him. By now, it was hard to hear the automated trainer over my heavy breathing. By the third interval, he ran a block ahead and back and then told me “We went around the town 8 times on that Terry Fox Run a couple of years ago…EIGHT TIMES!!” Kid, if I make it around bend, up the (tiny) hill and against this wicked wind, I’ll be a superhero.

I waved at him and told him not to talk anymore because it’s against the jogging rules to talk while I jog. We established this rule on the first run. Oddly, this did not stop his questions. He kept asking “Are we turning here? How about here? Are you going this way and home? Why are we going this way and not the opposite way?” I’m not sure why he didn’t understand that we were going ALL the way around town. I was starting to wonder if I looked that desperate to head home. We were only 1 Km in, after all. Finally, when there were almost no corners left to turn he said “Oh, you mean all the way around town?” Gasping, I said “YES, ALL the way. All three kilometers.” That’s how big this town is, about, if my GPS thingy is working. I told him that eventually I would be able to jog the entire way but I was starting slowly so as not to hurt myself.

“How could you hurt yourself walking?”

Next time, I’m leaving him at home…at least, until I can jog the whole shebang without feeling like my chest will explode.

I should have bought the Harley.




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